Phone Salesperson Gifts

"i can take pictures of my bum!"

'Do you have any with unlimited rollover minutes?'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Toadstools

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Any questions?"