Telephone Junkie Pillows

Alexander Graham Bell

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Modern Narcissism

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

Overworked

The Communicator

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'

Homing pigeons in therapy.

"Can we wrap this up? Our phones need charging."

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

"Tap anywhere to begin."

Pizza Delivery Delays

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"It's taking more and more destruction just to feel anything."

"OMG! The PDA was 2 much. I was lol. . . Oh, sorry Daddy, I'm just so use to texting!"

Call centre musicians

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

'It feels like two hours of my life is missing.'

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

'I wish someone would finally make that Oprah Winfrey shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

Evolution

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

Pandora's Inbox

"He hasn't been the same since his phone died."

'Environmental dept? Yes, just a query. It's August, it's 85?. It has been for 3 months now...'

'If you don't mind, I'm trying to use the telephone here.'