Telepathy Tester Pillows

"Can you read my thoughts?"

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Good luck with all the revision...

Examinations.

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

"Your IQ came back negative."

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

The invention of a hat that reveals emotions

One latte? That'll be $4.50. That apple fritter sounds good. I'll have that too. Ok. Anything else? No, that's it. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. That's all. That'll be $9.00 even. Ooh, are those macaroons fresh? I'll have a macaroon too. One latte, one apple fritter and one macaroon, and that's it. Well what are you waiting for? I don't have all day.

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

We've been together so long, we can finish each other's texts.

The interminable!

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

First Annual Psychic Convention

'You've waited on hold 45 minutes just to speak to my boss? Seriously, sir, get a life!'

"I can recommend the snails, if you don't mind waiting."

'The E.S.P. phone: "Hi! I'm on the train."

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

"What good is a crazy theory if you don't put it into practice?"

"Go already! Stop letting them in! Just think of yourself!!"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

The Tedious Adventures of Mr. Sloth...

"I can actually hear you thinking about food."

'The fish only bite twice a day here, once before we get here and again after we leave.'

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

"You did very well on your I.Q. test. You're a man of 49 with the intelligence of a man of 53."

Selling to the devil.

A man waits for his child on a snail animal ride.

The indigo children.