Telepathy Explorer Pillows

'It's the psychic network returning the call you plan to make tomorrow.'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Postwar is hell."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"What a sad species humans are!"

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

"Should we lick it again?" CX930226

Couple

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

'To foster a sense of trust, I always like to end each session with a group hug.'

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

Bring your problems to work day.

'What's the point of suffering from depression if nobody notices?'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

We've been together so long, we can finish each other's texts.

Unhappy clown.

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."