Telemarketing Tactician Gifts

'A telemarketing call for you, Sir.'

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

"No, he's not on any antidepressants. His euphoric mood is coming from me installing a robocall blocker on his phone."

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

Aladdin and the magic telemarketer lamp. Your first 3 wishes are free!* *By accepting wishes, user agrees to lifetime monthly charges, activation fees, and all applicable taxes.

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

Eureka! This has telemarketing sale of a diet supplement written all over it.

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

"You. . . may. . . already. . . be. . . a . . . winner. . ."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"Is that a finger?"

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

Cold caller.

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"Sell AI"

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

Call Center.

'Honey, this the start of a fantastic career! Lunchtime is over and I still haven't been fired!'

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

"We'd love to, but we had too much wine and cheese in the eighties."