Teeth Perfectionist Gifts

'How much extra would it cost to get my tooth whitened?'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Poetry repairman

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Perfection

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Writer

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"You're welcome."

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

The battle of the pianos.

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

'How's the ringtone coming along, Ludwig?'

"For tonight's performance I have stripped everything, as far as possible, down to the "urtext" edition."

"Page 33, line 4..."

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'