Teeth Perfectionist T-Shirts

'How much extra would it cost to get my tooth whitened?'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Poetry repairman

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Writer

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Perfection

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

"You're welcome."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

Santa's Out Tray.

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'How's the ringtone coming along, Ludwig?'

The battle of the pianos.

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"For tonight's performance I have stripped everything, as far as possible, down to the "urtext" edition."

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

"Page 33, line 4..."

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'