Teenager-definer Gifts

'If men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, I'd like to know what planet he's on.'

'Teenagers!'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"He's gone goth"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'