Teenager-definer Gifts

'If men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, I'd like to know what planet he's on.'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"He's gone goth"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'