Teenage Wrangler Pillows

'I never wanted a dishwasher. I find the best place to get some peace from my teenagers is the kitchen when the sink is full of dirty dishes.'

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

'And you said I couldn't get three words out of him.'

"Well, I live in a pigsty, so, unlike you, I don't really notice much change when my kids become teenagers..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Ahh...He's got wind"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"I'm so good at this!"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Where's your nose?"

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

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