Teenage Wrangler T-Shirts

'I never wanted a dishwasher. I find the best place to get some peace from my teenagers is the kitchen when the sink is full of dirty dishes.'

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.

'And you said I couldn't get three words out of him.'

"Well, I live in a pigsty, so, unlike you, I don't really notice much change when my kids become teenagers..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"I'm so good at this!"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"Where's your nose?"

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

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