Teenage Culture Gifts

'Nothing much. Just waiting for the internet to tell me what I'm supposed to like.'

'Spike, meet my dad - he overreacts.'

The Ask Sadie Show. Actual answers to actual reader questions. Dear Sadie, When you were a teenager, did your parents tell you you were too young to date? How did you deal with that? - Frustrated with Dad. Never! In my day, there were no "teen-agers." You were either big enough to run the machinery, or small enough to be used as a pipe-cleaner in the machinery.

'What sport are you pretending interest in this time?'

The Tumors' rebellious son.

"Give me a hug!"

'Girls her age don't act like they're listening, but. . . they are. . . She knows what you expect of her, and she'll live up to that, more or less. . . C'mon. How much trouble can she get into?'

City centre pub.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

The Brothers Grime

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Text Culture

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

Hoodie Hang-out

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Musical notes bubble gum.

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

Pop Culture for Teens

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"He's deliciously vintage."

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"Nice haircut."