Teen Vogue Reader Gifts

"I can't believe the fashion trends at school this year! They're dyeing their hair...painting their nails...and plucking their eyebrows!"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Musical notes bubble gum.

Pop Culture for Teens

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

"At least she's reading."

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

'I can't remember the title, but it began, 'Once upon a time'...'

"Think about the perks. You learn to read, you get a pre-approved library card!"

"Poor kid, his parents gave him a book for Christmas."

Time to put away your presents. I don't have room. You said you "needed" a new jacket. I do! My old one's too small. Donate it. I would. But I can't get it out of my closet.

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

"Everytime I wear boxer shorts, the Fruit of the Loom guys start laughing."

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

Kid Reads "The Little Tibetan Book Of The Dead"

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

Mom! I need summer clothes. You've got tons from last year. Fashion hasn't changed that much. Ahem. But you clearly have! Can we go now?

I wonder what the kids are up to at the lake. Your mom will keep her eyes on them. She won't let them get into trouble. Nothing gets by her! ZZZZ. Psst. My silence isn't free!

'Please, Mom! All the other kids are wearing them.'

Abandon all hope ye who enter here,

"Before I run several extensive eye exams on him for poor vision, have you thought about cutting his hair?"

I love coloured tights

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

'If you've gone off him, please can I have my chewing gum back?'

1984: 'I don't know -- probably some historical novel.'

What should I wear to the eco club dance? Something recycled. Yeah, but it has to be hot. W. Fester Thrift Shop. Who're you trying to catch? Sigh! Ryan Beardsley. Dressing reports. You can definitely catch a cold.

Obnox.com.