Teen Style Guru Gifts

Time to put away your presents. I don't have room. You said you "needed" a new jacket. I do! My old one's too small. Donate it. I would. But I can't get it out of my closet.

'Teenagers!'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

A women in a shoeshop.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Keeping warm.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

Musical notes bubble gum.

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.

Pop Culture for Teens

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

His and Her wardrobe's

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"That shirt is so last year."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'