Teen Style Advisor Gifts

Your hair looks good down for a change, Twig. You think? I want to look different, but � I don't want to stand out! It could work.

'Teenagers!'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

'They're pinching my toes!'

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

Time to put away your presents. I don't have room. You said you "needed" a new jacket. I do! My old one's too small. Donate it. I would. But I can't get it out of my closet.

"Madeleine Albright kicked butt in that suit."

"I like the suit, but do you have it in a smaller check?"

'I warned you! You mix a power suit coat and pants and you short circuit the vest!'

"Everytime I wear boxer shorts, the Fruit of the Loom guys start laughing."

Melania Trump

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."

Mom! I need summer clothes. You've got tons from last year. Fashion hasn't changed that much. Ahem. But you clearly have! Can we go now?

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

'Please, Mom! All the other kids are wearing them.'

"It was an emergency, Officer. I had to phone my style consultant to ask which lipstick I should be wearing."

'Does this outfit make my tympanums look big?'

Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been readng written?

Style Consultant

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

"Lose the man bun and shave your head."

"Before I run several extensive eye exams on him for poor vision, have you thought about cutting his hair?"

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

"You may think you look cool, but can you actually breathe properly with that stupid cap on?"

'Who the heck is Tom Selleck?'

"Dad said I look like something the cat dragged in, how cool is that!"

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

The school's security staff began to think Fred was deliberately taunting them with his latest body piercing.

'You can't fight the system in new-season smart casual.'

What should I wear to the eco club dance? Something recycled. Yeah, but it has to be hot. W. Fester Thrift Shop. Who're you trying to catch? Sigh! Ryan Beardsley. Dressing reports. You can definitely catch a cold.