Teen Style Advisor Gifts

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'They're pinching my toes!'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"Madeleine Albright kicked butt in that suit."

"I like the suit, but do you have it in a smaller check?"

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."

"Everytime I wear boxer shorts, the Fruit of the Loom guys start laughing."

'I warned you! You mix a power suit coat and pants and you short circuit the vest!'

Melania Trump

'Please, Mom! All the other kids are wearing them.'

"Before I run several extensive eye exams on him for poor vision, have you thought about cutting his hair?"

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

"Lose the man bun and shave your head."

Style Consultant

'Does this outfit make my tympanums look big?'

Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been readng written?

"It was an emergency, Officer. I had to phone my style consultant to ask which lipstick I should be wearing."

The school's security staff began to think Fred was deliberately taunting them with his latest body piercing.

'You can't fight the system in new-season smart casual.'

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

"Dad said I look like something the cat dragged in, how cool is that!"

"Can I have the "dalmatian look" please?"

"You may think you look cool, but can you actually breathe properly with that stupid cap on?"