Teen Development Gifts

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"She's been so creative lately."

"He likes it."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Twenty-first century baby walker

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'What's play?'

"Three more years of high school."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"So, what do you do for play?"

"He's gone goth"

Baby Mozart.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'