Teen Development Pillows

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"He likes it."

"She's been so creative lately."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Three more years of high school."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Twenty-first century baby walker

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'What's play?'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

Baby Mozart.

"He's gone goth"

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."