Teen Psychology Gifts

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

Text Culture

"He's gone goth"

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

Pop Culture for Teens

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"He's deliciously vintage."

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'Teenage Beethoven.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'Beware of the teenager.'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

Tough Teddies

City centre pub.

Spring Break.

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."