Teen Behavior Gifts

'It's making me happy.'

"Have you noticed a change in Sophie since she turned 14?"

'I know she hasn't turned out well but there's no sense in us BOTH feeling guilty about it.'

"I wasn't sure about veganism until I saw how much it inconvenienced my parents."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

The Brothers Grime

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'Beware of the teenager.'

Spring Break.

No cell phones, tv or internet for a week. It's creepy. What's that annoying sound? Silence? It's awful. I can hear myself think!

This year I'm a different person. I'm starting school as the new, cooler me. Way to go, Twig! Diner. Everyone will notice the change. It feels kind of risky. I've never worn my hair down!

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'We've created a teenager!'

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"You don't look much like a werewolf."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."