Teen Culture Analyst Pillows

The Ask Sadie Show. Actual answers to actual reader questions. Dear Sadie, When you were a teenager, did your parents tell you you were too young to date? How did you deal with that? - Frustrated with Dad. Never! In my day, there were no "teen-agers." You were either big enough to run the machinery, or small enough to be used as a pipe-cleaner in the machinery.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.

Teen's Comet

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

'I got tattoos to make a statement, but my teacher said I could do the same thing by joining the debating team.'

Forming the adolescent personality

An English and French student converse.

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Fine. It's just that it'll take me longer to walk there in my skinny jeans."

Hoody Woodpecker.

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"You missed breakfast and lunch and haven't left your bed so it's not worth you getting up now. Good night!"

'Sorry, I don't have anything smaller.'

Teenage Yoda

Bert makes a fashion statement...'You look like an idiot!'

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."

"High school uniforms?! Can you imagine everyone wearing the same thing every day!"

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

"Have you tried oversharing deeply personal thoughts on social media to help with the phone addiction?"

Teen Owl

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.

We're supposed to write a paper on American values. Which ones? Tree's Trees. I'm not sure. Any suggestions? Two for one! Today! Look around! All U Can Eat Buffet. Val-U Meals. Biggest Best. #1.

Saint Francis feeds raisinets to the Teenagers of Assisi

Prepare for the fad herald. If only he'd be my Facebook friend. Today, a special announcement. Special announcement? Hubbub hubbub hubbub. I speak to you today of Twitter. We have an unusual split decision with regard to a strange concept with a captivating name. Hear ye: The brand name Twitter is: In. But actually using the service is: Out. You may commence with not bothering to tweet or learn anything more about it. So declared. Free @last.

Who the Hell Are All These People? Magazine

"My Dad keeps playing the awful originals to my remixes."

Train Your Dog with Victoria Stilwell

"A job? Can't I just start a Go Fund Me page?"

'It's not fair! I'm socially excluded from gang culture.'

Rock 'n' roll has always had its casualties, typically it's the young...the early days were no different!!

Belts 4 Sale! Cheap!