Tee-off Tactician Gifts

"You've got it to go straight but you're facing the wrong direction."

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

It is important that the aspiring golfer learns the meaning of certain golfing terms, so that he can understand what his fellow sportsmen are saying to him.

'World Popularity of Golf'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Input From The Front Office

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

Golf lessons

American Football.

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

Carlo Ancelotti

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

'With your 4-4-2 formation I don't think you'll see the end of this match.'

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"We're looking for someone who'll be available twenty four-seven."

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Snooker.

The 18-hole course is to the left and a 9-hole course is to the right --- Which do you want to play? I'll decide after my first tee shot?

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

Thanks God!

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Golf

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'