Tee-off Troublemaker Gifts

Keep calm, play golf.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Bad dog."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golf lessons

The Amateur Golfer

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'You're away, Doc!'

Golf

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

Thanks God!

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

'It's a nice course. I just wish it wasn't so close to the airport.'

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

"Fore!"

Fish golfing.

'World Popularity of Golf'

It is important that the aspiring golfer learns the meaning of certain golfing terms, so that he can understand what his fellow sportsmen are saying to him.

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

"Yes, you can see the chairman this afternoon - have you ever done any caddying before?"

'Gentlemen, today's meeting will be short, so I'll get right to the point.'

golf

'I am being in the moment. Just not this particular moment.'

'See this advert? lost.. one little white ball!'

'That's quite an offset on your driver. Is that a new design?' 'No, it's an old design from beating it into the ground after years of lousy drives.'

'Looks like we're going to have to settle this by having a fish-off.'

"You've got it to go straight but you're facing the wrong direction."

'I wouldn't be caught dead looking like that!'