Ted Talk Fan Gifts

"King Kong is now King Calm, proof that coffee cup messaging matters."

Jed Clampett delivers his Jed Talk

Father TED Talks: "That would be an ecumenical matter ..."

" ...And now, for today's TED Talks ..."

TOM

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

'I'm full of stuffing so I'll have the potatoes.'

The Walking TED Talk.

"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"

It sounds like you've been watching Dr. Phil again, Al � bad idea. Dr. Phil provides a service, Dr. Kapuchnik: he makes you seem like less of a pompous, overbearing know-it-all.

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

"You're down 10 - zip after the friggin' first half. Ask yourself � what is it going to take to turn this shit around?"

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

Cartoons showing a speaker, with a teddy bear projected on a screen behind them. The speaker says: "welcome to my TED talk."

"Any chance Piers Morgan's available?"

When motivational speakers are TOO effective.

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

Dr.Phil McGraw

"I'm here today to talk to you about the dark side of outsourcing."

"Mother, please!"

"Today on 'Oprah' those who are still employed, and the people who love them."

"Son, I think it's about time we had the TED Talk."

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

"Worst TED talk ever"

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

Teddy for each day of the week

'When do you think we'll be old enough for adult diapers?'

"Your problem is, when you have a window of opportunity, you usually jump out of the window."

Pieces of eight, pieces of eight.

The Fairness Doctrine.