Ted Talk Fan Pillows

"King Kong is now King Calm, proof that coffee cup messaging matters."

" ...And now, for today's TED Talks ..."

TOM

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

'I'm full of stuffing so I'll have the potatoes.'

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

"You're down 10 - zip after the friggin' first half. Ask yourself � what is it going to take to turn this shit around?"

When motivational speakers are TOO effective.

Cartoons showing a speaker, with a teddy bear projected on a screen behind them. The speaker says: "welcome to my TED talk."

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

"Son, I think it's about time we had the TED Talk."

"Worst TED talk ever"

"I'm here today to talk to you about the dark side of outsourcing."

"Mother, please!"

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

"Today on 'Oprah' those who are still employed, and the people who love them."

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

"Your problem is, when you have a window of opportunity, you usually jump out of the window."

"Do you ever feel like every TED Talk winds up being about the same thing?"

Teddy for each day of the week

"Now, when I say the magic words 'I saw this interesting TED talk about...' You will fall into a deep sleep and remember nothing of our conversation."

'When do you think we'll be old enough for adult diapers?'

'We should talk more.'

"Have you ever considered that you haven't been promoted because you're and idiot?"