Technology Whisperers Pillows

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Computer whisperer.

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

WWW.World.com

Cellular Plan

Happiness is a warm warm iPad.

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

"Blimey, he's not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?"

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

"I just got an alert from our smart refrigerator. It's pleading with us to not stick anything else on it."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

'My Turing Machine doesn't understand me.'

Rudy, you bought me a high-definition camcorder. You shouldn't have. Is that you shouldn't have as in: It's just too thoughtful? Or, simply: You shouldn't have 'cause this gift stinks? I'm really blown away. Clarify!

"Need help with your computer project? I have 2 teens at home."