Technology Tragicians Gifts

'The computer keeps matching you up with your mother.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Now you can send it."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

High speed cinder block

"AI chat bot"

"So who is this First pet?"

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Social media and censorship...

Modern Life Blues

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'for more obit info, go to...'

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

He'll be fine after you reboot him, I've replaced his memory stick.

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

For some reason, whenever they're around me, they get out their phones.

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

"My battery died too. Wanna talk?"

The nurse of the future

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"