Technology Integrator Gifts

"I don't put apples on teacher's desk anymore. I put app suggestions."

In the Guru District

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Robotic Man

Your Future Home.

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

The Design Artiste

Information Tightrope.

You are Here. We know where you've been.

'You've done a good job for the company, Roger, but we just need someone who's a little less...analog.'

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

'Soulless fruit flies are the nanotechnology of the fear industry.'

CIA Recommended TVs

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"I'd like to make a return."

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

Maybe I should subscribe to the newspaper again.

Busy, Busy, Busy

'It won't take bitcoins.'

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."

"I'm trying to find a new element."

Along with being the first passengers on the space elevator, Fenwick and Charles set a new world record for longest awkward elevator silence.

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

Hot dog cart next to a hot spot cart.

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

"This is my last shift, I've been replaced by some bitch called Alexa."

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."