Tech Invader Gifts

The Emperor's New Followers

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

Cloud Computing.

Meet the new factory manager.

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Hello, you've reached the private line of the Secretary of Defense. At last! We tried calling you all day yesterday to alert you to an imminent threat. How did you get this number? It was coming straight at your nation-state at speeds approaching Kebin 2. What are you talking about? What's "Klebin 2"? Apologies. In earthlingese that would be "mach 23," or 24.140.16 kilometers per hour. Good lord! I'd better wake ... Not to worry. Our sensors locked on to it as soon as it launched from your North

John Bull presenting the building for the 1862 International Exhibition to Britannia

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

My First Bitcoin.

The power of the brain

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

'Take me to your weeder!'

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

Oh, we don't invade planets anymore --- Now we just hack into databases.

"Fred, a drone! Let's get it!"

"How'd I find you? I followed you on Twitter."

Cyberwarfare

Two words, boss: Virtual reality. We glue virtual reality goggles to our coffee mugs. Come again? When patrons sip their Himalayan mochas, they'll think they're dangling from a cliff in the Himalayan mountains. People will come from Miles around! People will throw up for miles around. We'll give patrons mops that double as virtual reality hockey sticks. This conversation is virtually over.

Mark Zuckerberg

Man about to enter a maze with a arrow saying 'Internet' with the world at its center

"It's a really cool game! You're Bill Gates, and you have to fight off the evil agents of the Justice Department before they destroy your planet."

The segway RV.

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

Things move fast round here! Including the new processor!