Techie Texter Gifts

Night School Enrolment

"So this is what you do all day on your cell phone? Punching in letters...one by one...sending dirty messages to your friends?"

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

The Archbishops says to stop adding emoticons.

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"I see the man who invented autocorrect has died."

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

My mom says this story is a "real page turner." I have no idea what she means by that.

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"I am a control freak."

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

In my day, we had to walk five miles uphill in the snow for high speed Internet access.

Baby's first text.

I hear we're called gen txt. It's demeaning. Suggests our lives revolve 'round shallow misspelled missives. No dout! You're not helping me here. Y U usin big words? Hirz link 2 utube vid of cat pukin. Awsum!

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

"Yes, you were supposed to put your address on the envelope."

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'

"He had a close brush with fame when Scarlett Johansson's chatbot told him to go away."

"Don't feel bad. Even I don't understand me."

'A few years ago that wouldn't have even sounded like a sentence.'

"Other than fluent Emoji, what other languages do you speak?"

"I just sent a penny to your bank account for your thoughts."

'I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that...'

"You're cute, but you don't look very strong."

'I'm sending you a text. . .how did people talk before sms messaging?'

Dolphin tries to 'look inside' a book about Dolphin Tails