Techie Texter Pillows

Night School Enrolment

"So this is what you do all day on your cell phone? Punching in letters...one by one...sending dirty messages to your friends?"

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"I see the man who invented autocorrect has died."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"I am a control freak."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

Baby's first text.

"Yes, you were supposed to put your address on the envelope."

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

In my day, we had to walk five miles uphill in the snow for high speed Internet access.

"Don't feel bad. Even I don't understand me."

"I just sent a penny to your bank account for your thoughts."

"Other than fluent Emoji, what other languages do you speak?"

'I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that...'

"You will have to text your order directly to chef. We're not speaking."

"In my day, we had to trudge through a mountain of shag-pile carpet if we wanted to change the channel."

'I'm sending you a text. . .how did people talk before sms messaging?'

"You're cute, but you don't look very strong."