Techie Gladiator Pillows

Computers can beat humans at chess but they still have a ways to go with mixed martial arts.

Rage.

"I feel your pain."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

American Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Football.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'Gentlemen--- choose your Pistils!' THE DUEL OF THE FLORISTS.

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Football Blockers.

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

Power Point Hell

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

'Smog, pollen, acid-rain, holes in the ozone-layer, crime, road rage, terrorists - HERE I COME!'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

Return Of The Flu.

'They're herding you all over the field! Start playing defense...'

'If you want to play in this league, Wilson, you've got to learn to play with pain!'

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

"Looks like mum's preparing to go on social media."