Tech Tweaks Gifts

Captain Pointy No.42 - Danger Detector range to short

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Digital Fomo!

Second lifeReal life.

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

Binary Man

"I got connected to the internet!"

The whole family can't wrench a teen away from his computer.

"See? Two seconds with my quantum physics app."

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'His debugging skills are exceptional.'

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

It's a wireless.

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

"You're still using that old thing? Just download Google Mars!"

'It seems that their databank has all the information that's in our databank, plus information that's not in our databank, plus information about our databank.'

"Damn, I forgot to create the 'control-Z' command."

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

"Have you tried turning it off and on?"

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

"You probably don't need to write 'sorry for the delayed reply' every time, Natasha."

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

"Ooh, this looks nice. Would you like to go for a scroll?"

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"