Tech Adaptation Gifts

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Welcome to the future"

The Anti-Agent

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Lynching on social media

"My email is down... talk to me."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Computer Room.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Polly txt speak

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Jack of all trades

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

The Computer Bore