Tech Support Gifts

'Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?'

"Go into Settings, Privacy, Activity Controls, Web Activity, Manage Activity, and deselect Giant Snake."

Early tech support

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'It just seems like, ever since the system upgrade, nothing's where it should be.'

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Maybe if I unplug it and plug it in again, it'll fix the mess."

'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'

"I'm well aware that your e-mail isn't working. I got your first message."

"I think we could work very well together."

"Hold down control and shift and press escape."

'He's our Spam expert!'

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

"By using the accelerated graphics port with the m202 riser we can implement a data trawl without the 8ot network blah,blah cascading through the network..."

Computer whisperer.

"Have you tried turning it off and throwing it out the window?"

'My job was replaced by an app. What's more humiliating, it was a free app.'

After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

"Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?"

"Dennis, I would like to talk to you for a minute-off-line."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I'll call you back. After 5 hours of confusing explanations and computer jargon, I need to reboot the geek."

"Webcams were unflattering even before we all had to start cutting our own hair."

My name is Bob and my laptop crashed! Tech Support Groups.

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

Mammon Industries - "He says his name is Billy and he's here to update our software."

'Don't open that attachment!'

The use of jargon seemed to be getting worse.

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home