Tech-savvy Vicar Pillows

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Follow God On Twitter

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

'Does it come with any Apps'

Internet Search- Find God

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

"He calls it the eBible."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

No Connection.

'I don't have time to answer individual questions, but you can subscribe to my PODCAST.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'