Tech-savvy Clergy Pillows

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Follow God On Twitter

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'Does it come with any Apps'

Internet Search- Find God

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

"He calls it the eBible."

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

The Pope tweets

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."