Tech-savvy Missionary Pillows

Original versus contemporary short term missionary

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

God's Phone

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Palm Top Readings

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

'Does it come with any Apps'

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

Internet Search- Find God

Confession plugged up to an amp.