Tech-savvy Traditionalist Pillows

'Online baking is convenient but what I miss most is walking over to the bank and chatting with the tellers.'

"They're prototypes. Eventually they'll be touchscreen."

"It's from my Telemedicine Man!"

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Couldn't you just text these to me?'

'We now accept chip & pin.'

Christmas stockings hanging from fireplace. Sign above reads 'Now Accepting Paypal'.

General Store Modernises

"You know this isn't environmentally friendly! Maybe we should just email instead!"

Note on computer for milkman.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"...and I'm saying we would've been here a lot quicker if we had used the SatNav rather than follow that stupid star."

"You can go to my website for the full list of what I want."

"Shall we all relocate to the living room for the Queens Tweet?"

He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.

'It's my favorite Christmas gift - a wireless computer mouse that looks just like my old fountain pen!'

"Christmas pudcast"

"I'll call you back. I'm harvesting rice."

Man Reading Laptop.

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

God's Phone

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

Champagne at the hunt

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

"My kid could have done that with AI."

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

Matador Artificial Insemination.

Man wearing a kilt carrying roses.

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"