Tech-savvy Spa-goer Gifts

"Oops. My bad."

Spa

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

The Cat Spa

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

Spa Dog

"Hey - I'd write a book, too, if I could find the time."

"You're incredibly tight."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Odd Spas

"Well, that's that, Henry. Let's go over to the Four Seasons and towel off."

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'Did you try 'Google'?'

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

'This place is awesome! Check it out. His and hers loofah brushes.'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

Spa day