Tech-savvy Sermon Lover Prints

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

God's Phone

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

Palm Top Readings

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

'Does it come with any Apps'

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

Jesus Saves

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

Binary meditation.