Tech-savvy Preacher Prints

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'New Charismatic'

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Palm Top Readings

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

Internet Search- Find God

'Does it come with any Apps'

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Confession plugged up to an amp.