Tech-savvy Pastor Prints

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'It sendeth, but receiveth not.'

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Follow God On Twitter

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'Does it come with any Apps'

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Internet Search- Find God

"He calls it the eBible."

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

"What format shalt I save these in?"