Tech-savvy Prophets Gifts

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

Crystal Ball Plug

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

doom.com

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

'Does it come with any Apps'

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

Internet Search- Find God

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Jesus Saves

'Replaced by analytical software. I should have seen it coming.

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

"He calls it the eBible."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

Zeus recharges lightening bolts.