Tech-savvy Deal Hunter Gifts

STRIP Hambone: Computer retailer makes money by repairing them

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"You don't use a search engine for an Easter egg hunt."

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

"Oh, just sitting back and letting algorithms do all the stock trading."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

All this week! 1 extra hour with every clock purchased.

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

"This automated stock trading app can halt rallies or downturns, depending on your market strategy."

"How many investment apps will this get me?"

" know a bargain when I see one!"

"Ok, if we could just synchronise chairs..."

'Hang on, the analysis of the Audiospectrograph of that call indicates it's a decoy...'

'He's mining for bitcoins again.'

Hostile take-over.

A Hunter on a Mechanical Horse.

"Hold on, Ms. Goodwin. I'm checking with the algorithm that's managing your money."

'Binary' monk demonstrates computer skills.