Tech-savvy Deal Hunter T-Shirts

STRIP Hambone: Computer retailer makes money by repairing them

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"You don't use a search engine for an Easter egg hunt."

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

"Oh, just sitting back and letting algorithms do all the stock trading."

"My fitbit keeps track of my calories burned while I chase yield on my stocktrading app."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"The Holy Grail? Have you checked eBay?"

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

All this week! 1 extra hour with every clock purchased.

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

'Sitting on the dock of eBay, wasting time...'

"How many investment apps will this get me?"

"Ok, if we could just synchronise chairs..."

"This automated stock trading app can halt rallies or downturns, depending on your market strategy."

" know a bargain when I see one!"

'Hang on, the analysis of the Audiospectrograph of that call indicates it's a decoy...'

'He's mining for bitcoins again.'

A Hunter on a Mechanical Horse.

Hostile take-over.

"Hold on, Ms. Goodwin. I'm checking with the algorithm that's managing your money."

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"