Tech-savvy Daters Gifts

'It's been nice meeting you, Brian, but can we go back to having a virtual relationship?'

'I think he's getting serious about me -- he bookmarked my website!'

Ask Sadie! I'm 50, reasonably attractive and intelligent, but I haven't had a date in 19 years. How do I get back into the dating scene? - KC, Tacoma, WA** **actual reader question. KC, you've been out of the game for a bit, but don't be afraid to use the latest technology. First, find someone you like, then write them an email in which you explain your feelings. And threaten that if they refuse your overture, you'll dig into their past and expose their legal, personal and financial failings to

Cyber Sex

'He's perfect. We have loads of the same apps.'

"She'll be down in a minute. She's still charging."

"I'm sorry Tim, but our online profiles aren't compatible anymore!"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

e-shoes

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

Klimt Kiss Phones

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Relaxing in the Sun

Weird things I do because of the internet

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

'When I took this job, I had no idea how much it would cut into my quality, family texting time.'

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

Mr Jones is not seeing anyone in person. Do you have a webcam?

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"You may now kiss the bride."

The Re-Opening of Schools

Early Learning Today

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"I take back everything bad I said about AI."

CCTV in church.