Tech Satire Seekers Pillows

"It's part of our company's new health plan. You don't ever have to leave your desk for the virtual colonoscopy..."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'for more obit info, go to...'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'And here's the toolkit.'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

'YAY! PATE!'

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

"Et tu, Killbot 9000?"

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'Amy, cancel all my appointments. I have enough money.'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"The boss says after this you're gonna have to start flossing for yourself."