Tech-loving Divorcee Gifts

Computer Aided Divorce.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Klimt Kiss Phones

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

'Long distance romances in the twenty first century.'

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

Unicorn in the Woods

'Young Love'

It went even worse than I expected - She got custody of the kids and me.

A dog and a robot dog

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'I like you, Susan, you have an intuitive interface.'

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

"No, no, no. Double-click to open. I'll walk you through it one more time. Go get your leash."

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

"You mean you leaked his password because he uses my name as his password instead of yours?"

"At least I got half the Twitter followers in the divorce."

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

"Would you agree to change our Facebook status to married?"

'That's my boy! An A+ in 'spell-checking'!'

'Newly discovered binary love letter from Bill Gates to his high school sweetheart.'

'To learn more about me, swipe my forehead with your smart phone.'

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

"Your husband is fooling around."

"No, drones will never replace us because they lack our hunting instinct and majestic bearing."

Computer Side of Marriage.

'OK, but just suppose Abelard and Heloise had used e-mail'

"How many times did I tell you? Don't put the outdated chargers in the drawer for broken headphones."

"This app helps you create expletives during labor for reproach, vilification and revilement."

'It's over'

'I know we seem perfect for each other David, but let's check it with a computer just to make sure.'

'Try to be patient - my feelings for you are still downloading.'

"We need one of the smart vacuum cleaners that warn you when the bag is full."