Tech-troubled Romantic Gifts

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Klimt Kiss Phones

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Online Dating

Big Data Tonight

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

"You may now kiss the bride."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

'Long distance romances in the twenty first century.'

Passions flared. It was like they had some sort of powerful,cross-platform,internal wireless connection going on.

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Young Love'

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.

'That must be my computer date.'

'I just e-mailed you, 'good night,' but it got bounced back, so, good night.'

"This locket contains my very first username and password."

No, Hal, I don't have a picture of you in my wallet, but much better than that...you're my screen-saver at work!

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'We were matched by computer.'

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

Using a social media app to date

'I like you, Susan, you have an intuitive interface.'

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

"Not on my watch..."

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

"It's not you, it's me – I automatically updated overnight and we're no longer compatible."

"Would you agree to change our Facebook status to married?"

Two video cameras fall in love at first sight.