Tech Jokers Gifts

"If you would like a break while on, hold press 1 if you'd like to go and wash your car..."

"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

A fisherman reacts as he sees a drone flying over the lake with a fishing line into the water below.

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

"You're on mute."

'I was told it required a log-in...'

"Come on, dear...you can't blame everything on Russian hackers."

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

"But officer. I wasn't texting. I was `sexting`."

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

The Screeeen!

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

"Are you sure this is how you get Twitter verified?"

'We're running combat maneuvers on our 3 year old?'

'I got them walkie-talkies... that way they can argue up to one mile apart.'

'When I said you will get an office with windows, I was referring to the operating system on the computer.'

Cloud computing.

I am not a human.

"I tell you, he's up to no good. He spends hours on the dark web."

"Stand back? corrupt file."

'I don't think the posts online are for scratching.'

"The door stop is complete! Our next step is to invent the door!"

"There is no 'virtual arrest button', you'll have to get off your butt and do it manually."

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

The continent you have requested cannot be found.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"According to my sat nav, it should be right here!"