Tech Industry Followers Gifts

Jeff Bezos Caricature - Donald's Bozo

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

"You're all hashtag summarily dismissed."

'All the guys like Sophie. She has a touch screen.'

What's 'Bitcoin'?

"How does it know which bit is fit?"

"After buying his 698th mobile device, his wife had him committed."

"You new guys should fit in working here."

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

"This app encrypts verbal communications. My doctor's handwriting is all we need to encrypt everything else."

X Brazil

'When will they come out in papyrus-back?'

'I'm not calling you in India for technical support. I'm calling to offer you a job.'

Human Resources...Cyborg Resources.

Next: I'm STILL a 'D' list celebrity - sack my agent!

The before-you-know-it-I'll-be-obsolete computer co.

"It's Geoff, he won't be in today, his driverless car forgot to pick him up."

"At least now when mom and dad fight it's quieter."

"Even though we're a tech company, we can only provide these walkie-talkies. That's the downside of being a startup."

"Who's the actress that's married to the guy who was in that movie about cops with the actor who starred with the woman in that TV show about doctors?"